A Painter's Desiderata: Or Too Many Maxims Ruins the Broth . . .

That blank canvas is there to offer a challenge, not to terrorize you • Paint like a locomotive • Don’t try to frost the cake before you bake it • A painter’s life is not for the faint of heart • You will learn more from a hundred starts than you will a hundred finishes • Begin with red, yellow, and blue and expand on that • Nothing shows more obviously in a work of art than boredom • Don't eat the paint • Inspiration is for amateurs • Beware of the teacher who quotes too many maxims (ha!) • Painting is a verb, not a noun • Throw down enough color to be able to push it around • Painting isn't hard: you just have to put the right color down in the right place, in the right shape, in the right order, at the right time • Art is a crazy way to make a living • Acknowledge your inner child and play, but ignore the tantrums • Painting is not like having an affair, it is more like being married with children • And speaking of families...your paintings are not your babies: be willing to drown, strangle, or expose them (to critics)if it becomes necessary • Mimesis is art-speak for “It looks like a photograph” • Draw, draw, draw – then draw some more • Ask yourself as you paint, “Is it art yet?” If so, stop • Be bold, be proud, be polite • It ain’t the paint, it ain’t the brushes, and it ain’t the canvas • Look first, paint second • Check out the artist’s work before letting him go on too long about it • Do not keep repainting the fun passages as they will never be as good as the first time around • When you attend another artist's opening leave your own portfolio at home • Paint is unpredictable so remain open to unexpected surprises • Art is not a race – unless you find yourself working under the sun or against the tide • The best way to preserve a brush is to never let it dry out • All art is abstract so be a poet and not a reporter • For goodness sake, simplify! • The fewer the touches the better your brushwork • Your signature is not enough to justify a painting • Paint for the ages but don’t overlook the now • There is no “Secret Sauce of the Old Masters” • Be willing to ferret out the beauty in the ugly for it is often unpainted territory • When you are painting try to forget you are painting • Yes, you are an artist but it is best to let other people tell you that • Disconnect your ego from your work, otherwise life will become painful • The term ‘tortured artist’ is oxymoronic, painting should be a joy • Selling a painting does not mean it was good – and conversely, not selling a painting does not mean it was bad • Be sure to have fun while you work because if that is all you get out of the experience then at least you got that • Mixing yellow and black together will not create a darker yellow, it will make a green – The moral? Color is idiosyncratic • Don’t assault your viewer with too much detail • If you think you have ‘arrived’ you haven’t • Every artist is emerging no matter their age • Don't just paint the cupcakes in life, paint the turds too • If you don't know how to paint but want to learn marry someone who can • Don’t overprice yourself • Watch out for the crazy f*cking nut-bars in this business and be polite when you inevitably run into them for some of them have money • If someone insists upon telling you how great an artist your are don't argue • Content is King so choose your subjects carefully – you may end up painting them over and over again • The key to success is remembering what you want • If someone insists upon telling you what Fine Art is, take a step back and let them wind down • Beautiful brushwork is like a fine cup of tea: something to be served up fresh for a specific occasion • Leave the histrionics out, they seldom add much • A cynic is a failed romantic • Reading a how-to-paint book is like reading about sex – it can be informative and perhaps a bit titillating – but never a satisfying substitute • When judging the success of your work make up your own mind – after all it is your art you are making and no one else's.